I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
