The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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