There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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