If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
