I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
