My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Shame - the story of my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
