I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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