the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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