return my video game
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
