I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize