it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
