I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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