At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
