FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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