so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
