On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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