As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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