is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I bet he comes in French.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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