i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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