I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
