her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize