Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
