Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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