I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
