just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk is a universal language darling
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
