she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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