i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
