if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
