So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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