From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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