He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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