whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
