Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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