this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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