no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
