I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
