Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
