We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
