there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize