You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
