google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize