Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
