Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
