i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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