how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
