My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
