paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He did a backflip because drugs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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