The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
