Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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