No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
