I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
