I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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