he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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