Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
