Got a toothbrush?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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