that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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