is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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