He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
