so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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