i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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