Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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