You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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