and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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