let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
