Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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