how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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