how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
