Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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