I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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