i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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