omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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