I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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