yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
